cutest word contest

the winner is ‘news’



saw a tweety bird stick and poke today

step 1

unsubscribed from the following mailing lists: courage campaign, woolrich, casual male xl. wtf is this shit

bloom and grow forever.

listening to the sound of music on repeat

pt 2

my bike key was in the pocket of the red flannel that was oil-doused and subsequently TRASHED, i’d take linden’s bike but last time i did that it was stolen.

drag me to hell

the sun is in gemini and i am being punished. a gallon of canola oil fell and exploded today: on my face, on the walls, on the ceiling and floor, on my person, in my kitchen.¬† <— all casualties, as are 1 box jiffy, 1 box baking soda, 1 red flannel, 1 contact lens, 1 near perfect complexion. to hell, and back to hell, too.


how i met leah’s g-pa

today at work an elderly couple came in 30 minutes early for their reservation and gave me a hard time b/c their table wasn’t ready. then later the man asked me if i had a wastebasket and then put a tiny little rolled up piece of paper¬† in my hand and i threw it away! then still later he came up to me and said “remember when i gave you that thing to throw out? do you think you can go find it?” and i said “no.” and that man turned out to be leah finnegan’s grandpa.